Dear Joe, Katie and both sets of parents,
It was a pleasure meeting you and your families on today’s campus tour. As you know from the introductions we all gave at the beginning of the tour, we are college advisors, and our desire is for every child to attend a great school for them at a great price. You’ve probably received some good advice from your parents in your 17 or so years before taking the campus tour today, and I’m writing this letter to you and your parents to give each of you some more advice, because you all really missed a great opportunity today. PLEASE prepare better for your next campus visit!
Mistake #1 – Your personal introductions were really weak. Joe and Katie, you both mumbled your names, gave no information on yourselves, and did not introduce your family members. It’s understandable why – you probably have never been in the situation before. You both need to understand something – that’s not okay! It’s not okay just because everyone else your age does it that way. It’s not okay because your parents will fix it and just pay full price for your college education. Parents – please do some role playing with Joe and Katie. It will really make a difference in their self-esteem, and will put more money in your wallet when the school wants them more than the other kids who stumbled. Have your kids introduce themselves to neighbors, or to your friends. Help them get comfortable. Hire a coach. This is real life!
Mistake #2 – Joe and Katie, you both took the wrong attitude during the tour. Of course you are there to get a feel for the school, but you missed an even greater opportunity – selling yourself to the school. You both came from out-of-state, and are both spending Spring Break touring schools, but that won’t earn you special consideration. For goodness’ sake, ask some questions! Take an active interest! Make yourself memorable to the tour guide! Did you both know that she was an admissions counselor and has a very strong say in who gets admitted and who gets merit aid? Did you know that the school we toured today bases merit aid decisions on some very subjective elements? I do, because I asked her. What an awesome opportunity you both had, and missed it altogether. This is your time to shine. If you want to build a group of colleges that are really interested in having you attend their school, and you have an opportunity to sell yourself to a decision-maker, get in there and do some selling! Parents, the idea of your child reaching out and building a relationship cannot be foreign to them. Help them. Coach them. Hire a coach.
Mistake #3 – You didn’t know what you didn’t know. The whole process of searching, selecting and applying to colleges is confusing, I know. Joe and Katie, this is the biggest decision you have ever made, and it takes careful thought and planning. This is an exciting, important time, and you need to get right in the middle of this process. Find people who can give you sound advice, and run those people and resources past your parents for approval. Parents, be in a position to give Joe and Katie the best advice possible, in a timely manner. Challenge them. Prepare them. That did not happen today. If you parents are the ones giving the advice, read books, get the high school counselor to give you as much time as possible, seek out people whose kids have graduated on-time with minimal debt, actively coach your kids and keep them on track. If you are not the best person to give advice, find someone who knows what they are doing.
Joe and Katie (and each of your parents), I want to help you all by sharing a final observation with you. The problem is that you are going through this process just like everyone else, and will probably get everyone else's results. There’s a 33% chance that you will transfer schools. If you are average, it will take you 5 ½ years to earn your degree. Joe and Katie, you will each have about $26,000 in debt when you graduate, and your parents will probably have added at least five more years to their working lives. It doesn’t have to be this way.
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